Deserving success

I’ve been thinking about why people always recommend having someone else to be accountable to. I’ve had this type of accountability in the past and to be honest, it made no difference whatsoever. I have always relied on myself. Be accountable to me and that is strong enough to motivate me to do what I need to do for me.

I have been thinking I might be in need of some outside reinforcements lately as I have found myself (on more than one occasion) knowing what I need to do, but not really bothering to do it. I know that if I really wanted something, I would take the action I need to get it.

Then I find myself wondering why I don’t really want something. Why wouldn’t I just tweek a formula that’s making some passive income for me and turn it into something that could make plenty of passive income for me? Laziness? No, I’m not really lazy at all. I certainly keep myself busy. Not enough time? I would like to believe this one, but I know it isn’t true because I find plenty of time to watch Madmen for the second time and to sit around playing games on my iPad. Scared of failing? Nope, not at all. I’ve failed enough to know there is nothing scary in that one, just the pleasure of learning. As I scroll through the list of things that could be preventing me from taking the action I know I need to take, I come to the biggie, the one where I know the truth lies – I’m afraid I could be really successful. Being really successful is quite scary. I’m not sure I deserve it. And there we have the place where my attitude needs its adjustment. Here goes.

Why I deserve to be successful. Actually, I don’t think I’ll start there. I’ll start with a core belief of mine – that I have an obligation to live my life as fully and lively as I can. That means filling it up with stuff that creates growth and learning. It means pushing myself and extending myself. It means having everything I want and more. In many ways, this is my definition of success and I believe it is my job (my only real job) to make this happen in my life. So, whether I believe that I deserve success or not, I am bound by more core belief to pursue it. I also know that I deserve as much as anyone else. If I could get my head around that, I would start to understand my warranting the blessings of the universe. I love watching others be bestowed gracefully with growth. I get a kick out of their creativity. I am excited that they have the means to do what they want – go where they want, live what they want and have what they want. As I write this, I realise how blessed I am to no longer struggle through growth. In recent years, the struggle has gone and there is grace in my growth. I realise what a kick I get out of my own creativity. And I realise I live where I want and have so so much of what I want. I am blessed and, yes I believe I can say it, already successful. I just don’t want to stop at this. I don’t want to settle.

So, today I will pledge to myself to keep living the best life I can, to push myself that little further and to keep expanding. I will be accountable to no other soul but myself. I will love myself through it. I will define my success and I will grasp it with both hands, because I earned it, because I deserve it, and because I want it.

Ah! Sunday writing sounds like a plan to me.


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